I only had one woman in my life. She is my rock, the one who stands by me in every bad thing that has happened in my life. Sometimes I feel sorry that she married me, the same goes with my child. Fortunately, I only have one child and she will be living her own life in a couple of years.
My wife on the other hand, will be with me I hope, until death parts us. I feel sorry for her for sticking with me in spite of my shortcomings, my imbalanced mind, and my short fuse. I can admit that she is the only one who loved, loves and as she stated will love me forever. What she sees in me is beyond me, yes I love her and have no intentions of loving anyone else. But still, it is amazing how people stay together and take the rocky road to married life.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
I Believe in God - I Endured My Past
I lived and grew up in a dysfunctional family caused by a controlling and abusive father. I never saw my father drink nor gamble (I actually never saw him much at home when i was younger), but he is a womanizer and he never hid his relationships with other women, even when we were already grown up. I have not seen him physically hurt my mother either (come to think of it, I never asked my mother to this day). But the emotional scar he caused my mother made her a weak person with low self-esteem.
We the children, bore the physical and verbal abuse he spared my mother. As in most culture in the early years, hitting or spanking is a part of disciplining a child. However, there is a clear distinction between abuse and discipline.When you spank a child old enough to understand why he/she is being punished and you explained his/her mistake afterwards, I can take that as a form of discipline But when a child is too young to understand and you hit the child with any object you can get your hands on and on any part of the body, that is clearly abuse.
The physical pain quickly became tolerable and later not even make me cry.But the verbal abuses and insults left a mark that I endured for years. On the other hand, the things my sisters endured from him were far worst and unforgivable. It is during this time that I turned away from God. For years I did not go to church or even utter his name in prayers.
My parents have separated eventually and my father had a new family. Unfortunately, he has not changed and he still tries to control us all. But being a most headstrong son, I am the only one who stayed away from him. I have not spoken to him for years and I cannot help myself for not blaming him for all he did to us.
I love my mother and wanted her to stay with me but she chose to live with my other two siblings who live close together. Unfortunately, one of them took advantage of my mother's kindness and took all her money. This issue caused a major rift between me and my two siblings but I cannot do anything about it because my mother felt she owed them by staying with them.
I renewed my faith in God. I have outgrown the pain and moved on to have a family of my own. I have learned from my past and never find the necessity to hit my child and yet she grew up to be a good person. I faced a lot of trials and tribulations. But with God's blessings, I persevered and led a good and prosperous life with my wife and child.
Please feel free to share your thoughts and thanks for visiting.
We the children, bore the physical and verbal abuse he spared my mother. As in most culture in the early years, hitting or spanking is a part of disciplining a child. However, there is a clear distinction between abuse and discipline.When you spank a child old enough to understand why he/she is being punished and you explained his/her mistake afterwards, I can take that as a form of discipline But when a child is too young to understand and you hit the child with any object you can get your hands on and on any part of the body, that is clearly abuse.
The physical pain quickly became tolerable and later not even make me cry.But the verbal abuses and insults left a mark that I endured for years. On the other hand, the things my sisters endured from him were far worst and unforgivable. It is during this time that I turned away from God. For years I did not go to church or even utter his name in prayers.
My parents have separated eventually and my father had a new family. Unfortunately, he has not changed and he still tries to control us all. But being a most headstrong son, I am the only one who stayed away from him. I have not spoken to him for years and I cannot help myself for not blaming him for all he did to us.
I love my mother and wanted her to stay with me but she chose to live with my other two siblings who live close together. Unfortunately, one of them took advantage of my mother's kindness and took all her money. This issue caused a major rift between me and my two siblings but I cannot do anything about it because my mother felt she owed them by staying with them.
I renewed my faith in God. I have outgrown the pain and moved on to have a family of my own. I have learned from my past and never find the necessity to hit my child and yet she grew up to be a good person. I faced a lot of trials and tribulations. But with God's blessings, I persevered and led a good and prosperous life with my wife and child.
Please feel free to share your thoughts and thanks for visiting.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I Believe in God - The Father, the Almighty
Funny how a lot of people believe there is a supreme being who control our destiny, although we have not seen Him/Her.
There may be some people who are atheists or non-believers, not that there's anything wrong with that. But, if you do not believe, who can you blame when your life and everything around you seem to go from bad to worse? You cannot always blame yourself or other people, it would be insane.
Which reminded me of my Sociology professor back in college years ago. She said that "God is the biggest wastebasket. When you can't blame anyone else or there is no one else to turn to, you put all the blame and everything wrong that go on in your life to God. And for those who are non-believers, you can see them call on God when they are about to die or in a serious situation."
As for me, I am not the most religious person but I do believe in God, although there was a time in my life when I completely turned away from life itself. My faith in God keeps me hoping for better times when times become rough and difficult to handle.
Please feel free to share your thoughts and thanks for visiting.
There may be some people who are atheists or non-believers, not that there's anything wrong with that. But, if you do not believe, who can you blame when your life and everything around you seem to go from bad to worse? You cannot always blame yourself or other people, it would be insane.
Which reminded me of my Sociology professor back in college years ago. She said that "God is the biggest wastebasket. When you can't blame anyone else or there is no one else to turn to, you put all the blame and everything wrong that go on in your life to God. And for those who are non-believers, you can see them call on God when they are about to die or in a serious situation."
As for me, I am not the most religious person but I do believe in God, although there was a time in my life when I completely turned away from life itself. My faith in God keeps me hoping for better times when times become rough and difficult to handle.
Please feel free to share your thoughts and thanks for visiting.
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